A chicken noodle soup edition for the warriors in Christ.
Late in September 2019, my pregnancy test was positive! Joy! I was happy we would have a little one close in age to our baby boy. At my 8-week check-up, the baby had a healthy heartbeat, and all lab work read perfectly normal.
We had recently moved to a different state for my husband’s career. It is a distance away from all family and friends, and I stay home to care for our children. Several weeks after my first pregnancy appointment, I started to experience slight cramping but nothing painful. I went to the bathroom and noticed a bit of blood.
Immediately, I looked to the Lord and exclaimed, “Oh no, Father, I’m upset!” but I knew He had me.
The day I started to bleed, I reached out to some family members and friends – they assured me that a little bit of blood could be perfectly normal. I called the doctor’s office, and an appointment was scheduled for the following day. That night I was lying in bed, and I prayed to the Lord that He would heal the baby if anything were wrong.
Before this pregnancy, the Lord had already brought me through so much that I became steadfast in Him. After I prayed, He gave me peace that everything would be fine.
The next morning, I drove to the doctor’s office with my son. During the drive, a thought came against me, “What will the devil try to do to my mind if I’ve miscarried after the Lord gave me peace that everything would be fine…” It was like the Lord quickly squelched the arrows, and my thoughts were suddenly reverted away from the accusation. We arrived, and I was called back to see the doctor. During the sonogram, I saw the baby – it looked small and wasn’t moving. Sadly, the doctor told me that the baby had stopped developing and had no heartbeat. A Dilation and curettage (D&C) was scheduled for the following week to surgically remove the baby.
During the appointment with my son, I didn’t have much of a reaction. My husband came home early from work that day, and I carried on, taking care of our baby as usual.
The Lord upheld me that entire day with His mighty right arm.
That night, after putting my son to bed, I became consumed with grief. Lying in bed, I cried and cried to the Lord, “Why!? I don’t understand!! You gave me that everything was going to be fine! Help me, Father! I’m so upset … I need you!” After bellowing my grief to the Lord, I quickly fell into a restful sleep. I didn’t remember any dreams, but I knew the Lord spoke to me and held me all through the night.
The following morning, I woke feeling new in my mind. I had so much peace within me that what happened was for the better. The Lord was saving me … I don’t know from what exactly, but He gave me the word hardship – the Lord was protecting me from unforeseen hardship. What was the unforeseen hardship? I do not know. But He kept me from it. My grief was diminished, and I felt reassured of His promises once again.
I still had the scheduled D&C, which I wasn’t looking forward to. Because of the Thanksgiving holiday, the surgery had been scheduled several days out. I said to the Lord, “Father, maybe I could pass the baby naturally at home, if that’s for the better, I don’t really want to go through a D&C.” A day after I prayed this, I was told by a relative that the D&C was, in fact, a quick and painless procedure. I had an instant change of mind after learning this. I went to the Lord about it, “Okay, Father, I’m okay with getting a D&C; I don’t want to pass the baby naturally … but you know what’s best for me.“ I sat there in silence for a moment. The Lord didn’t speak to me right then, but there was something within my spirit that let me know I would be passing the baby at home.
It was late that night, much after our son fell asleep; I started to experience severe cramping. I went to the bathroom, and the pain escalated until I passed a bit of blood. I felt instant relief, but there was still cramping. I went back to the bedroom. The pain began to intensify, and it started to feel like I was in labor. I was on my side heavily breathing through it. I told my husband, “I’m going to pass the baby tonight.”
I was in the bathroom for a good while, passing what seemed like masses of blood and tissue. Because of the pain, I couldn’t speak, so I held my hands out for the Lord to hold me – Father is with me holding my hands. He will see me through this.
After it was over, I was utterly exhausted but filled with so much … relief and stillness.
My husband and I were lying in bed afterward, my head resting on his chest. In that moment, my husband softly said to me, “You are a strong woman.” I smiled and said nothing. I was smiling and in a daze of how much the Lord upheld me throughout that entire process. He didn’t just uphold me, but He lifted my spirits, too! Oh my gosh – how? During such a time, could I even feel joy?
The joy of the Lord is my strength! Who is like Him!? No one. Nothing! VICTORY!
The following day, I went to the ER to ensure all the tissue had been passed. I remember sitting quietly in the waiting room, enjoying watching Golden Girls on the hospital television. And I was talking to the Lord … I love Him. He was enjoying Golden Girls with me. I was at rest in His arms. After I was examined, the ER doctor said that it appeared I had passed almost all of the tissue; there was a tad remaining, but I shouldn’t expect more clotting. Okay, good — good news! However, the next day, I started to pass excessive blood clots. I would experience pain and then pass more clotting, and it would repeat throughout the day.
The Lord gave to me that I was fine, but doubts crept in. Why am I passing blood clots this size when the ER doctor told me I wouldn’t experience this? I called my obstetrician, and I was scheduled for an exam. After my exam, they told me everything appeared normal. Apparently, passing clots like this was something to be expected after a natural miscarriage, the ER doctor misspoke. Still, they gave me a time frame of when it should stop and when I would need to call back if things worsened.
My body felt depleted, and I wasn’t feeling physically healthy at all. After getting back from the doctors, I was nursing my baby before his nap. The devil started to throw a lot of fear at me – “You’re going to have to get surgery after all,” “You’re going to go septic,” “You could die from this,” “The Lord didn’t save you from anything, He abandoned you!” While these fears were being hurled at me, I began to feel such deep physical and emotional anguish.
Then, in the Lord’s sweet mercy, He girdled me up by moving me to start speaking the truth over the lies. I opened my mouth, and with a gentle whisper, I began to proclaim my victory!!!
“By the stripes of His blood, I am healed, made whole, and set free!” Each time I spoke it, I felt more and more restored. I was beginning to feel … elated.
My son had fallen asleep on my chest, and I put him in his crib. I went to the bathroom and began to excitedly repeat, “By the stripes of His blood, I am healed, made whole, and set free!” I felt like I was flying in the spirit at this point – I was filled with so much joy, and I could feel the Lord’s presence all around me.
I put on a song He gave me a while back. It is not a worship song. The Lord has, many times, showered me with His love through many different genres of music. Several months before this time, my phone suddenly began to play the song “More” sung by Bobby Darin. Call it what you like – I have plenty of those beautiful testimonies to give. The Holy Spirit always lets me know when it’s coming from Him. Many songs the Lord has played or filled me with – some I’ve heard before, and others have been new to me. This one was new to me.
The Lord gave me the word sentiment: the songs He gives me are His sentiment toward me. The one I played at that moment became my favorite. Not only did I never hear the song before the first time it was given to me, but it also filled me to the brim with His love.
Remembering the song, I played “More” on my phone in the bathroom and began to dance. And I felt the Lord dancing beside me as the song played from start to finish.
More than the greatest love
The world has known,
This is the love
That I give to you,
Alone.
More than the simple words
I try to say,
I only live to love you
More each day.
More than you’ll ever know
My arms long to hold you so.
My life will be in your keeping;
Waking, sleeping,
Laughing, weeping.
Longer than always
Is a long, long time.
But far beyond forever,
You’ll be mine.
I know I never lived before,
And my heart is very sure
No one else could love you more.
More than the greatest love
The world has known,
This is the love
That I give to you,
Alone.
More than the simple words
I try to say,
I only live to love you
More each day.
More than you’ll ever know
My arms got to hold you so.
My life will be in your keeping;
Waking, sleeping,
Laughing, weeping.
Longer than always
Is a long, long, long time.
But far beyond forever
You’ll be mine.
I know I never lived before,
And my heart is very sure
No one else could love you more
My joy was through the roof at that moment and lasted the entire day. I did bleed for many more days, but I was filled with assurance that I am healed.
Did you read that? I bled for many more days, but I was filled with the
promise that By the Blood of Jesus, I AM HEALED!
The Lord gave to me that everything would be fine from the beginning. And it was. More than fine. With each passing day, I became more and more relieved that I belonged to Him and that my life was in His hands. He will always restore me. He will always protect me. He has beautiful plans for me. I am His forever. Thank God!
The Lord said I started to “walk” after this. I did. It was a spiritually maturing relationship in Christ. He sees the big picture.
Now from this, I get to Glorify the Lord!! I get to Glorify His might, His deliverance, and His everlasting faithfulness! I get to rejoice in His mighty name! My steadfast Rock!
It was only 4 months later I was pregnant again. When the pregnancy test read positive, I sat in the bathroom. I looked up to the Lord with utmost exuberance, exclaiming, “FATHER!” He instantly responded – I saw in the spirit; Jesus grabbing my face to place a kiss on my forehead! He was celebrating with me!
God is always Good, and His MIGHT IS GREAT!
Romans 8:28
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
Did fear come against me to say that what happened in my previous pregnancy would happen during this one? The answer is I stomped on the devil when he tried me with that. Would the Lord celebrate with me if I were going to lose this baby? The answer is NO!
BECAUSE OUR GOD IS FAITHFUL!
BECAUSE OUR GOD IS TRUE!
The Lord fiercely hovered over me as a chicken does to her eggs, removing me from my current obstetrician and placing me with a doctor who would properly care for me. How the initial transition came about was not easy at first. Still, the Lord did it, and the ease and the blessings that came from it is an entire testimony for itself. My God is Beautiful.
If you think this is the first, the only, the last, or even the worst trial the Lord has strengthened me by – you can think again! I take refuge in the Lord, and He makes me VICTORIOUS! And He always will because I do not believe in myself – I believe in the Lord. My Great Love.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
John 14:27
Months later, plump and pregnant, I enjoyed some quiet on the couch while my son took his afternoon nap. I felt still when the Lord suddenly spoke within me, “Luella” I always get filled with excitement to learn the meaning of the names He gives me. In Hebrew, the name Luella means both renowned female warrior and God is my light; God is my oath.
I loved that He called me by that name, and it became so special to me that I gave my daughter the name. Luella is a spry one-year-old now, a beauty with the roundest showstopper green eyes, she’s in love with Winnie the Pooh, and I could not imagine my life without her.
For those who have trusted in Him through persecution and trials, the Lord has given me an encouraging message to share with you. The Lord brought my attention to the story of Job early this morning. Throughout a whirlwind of tremendous loss and torment, Job kept putting his trust in the Lord. Even when he questioned God why – Job remained humble.
Job’s friends accused him. His own wife harshly told him to turn from God after satan had struck him head to toe with sores — throughout the ridicule, Job never tarnished. He remained upright in the Lord’s eyes.
Through it all, the Lord remained faithful to Job.
How did Job’s life turn out? Beautifully! The Lord replenished Job mightily with an overwhelming amount of blessings. Because that is what He promises to those who take refuge in Him!
To the warriors in Christ, the Lord is excitedly repeating, “Sheaves, sheaves, sheaves!“
Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.
Psalm 126:6
Those who sow in tears will reap an abundant harvest
Other seed fell on good soil and yielded grain, some a hundred times as much [as was sown], some sixty [times as much], and some thirty.
Matthew 13:18
Victors, you know who you are, the Lord is saying — get ready to reap an abundant harvest!